Posted May 23rd, 2008 in South Africa by Frérieke

Wouw some good weeks behind me! The momentum is up.
2 weekends ago I did the Landmark Forum. Education for life, they call it. And YES I agree. The forum is all about completing things in your own past, challenging your self, sharing, communication, life. 100 participants. The most interesting thing? People from all different backgrounds listening to each other. Experiencing new social challenges/experiences. South Africa on its best!

I went back to my own childhood and figured out that I have created an image of Carel, my (sort of) Stephfather. As a little girl (he was in our life from around my 5th) I told myself that he is an unfriendly man (why? …yeah…asking a 5 year old…because he was not my father? because he is a bit older? because he doesn’t laugh all the time?) Anyways, as a teenager I made that ‘he’s unfriendly’-thought even stronger, it developed to: ‘he’s a dictator, he’s dominant, he is just not nice. This Landmark weekend I came to the conclusion that I’ve never given him the chance to just ‘be friendly’ or even ‘be himself’ . Only now I realize this.

Well….never too late! I gave Carel a call that very day. Mother’s day it was. “Ah you’re calling for your mum”, he told me while he picked up the phone. “Well”, I said, ‘I’m actually calling for you. And I told him what I’ve written down here above. I explained to him that I realized that our relationship could have been very different if I would have allowed him to be him. He was very surprised about what I was saying. At first he responded like “what do you want me to say?”. But after I explained that I didn’t expect any response, that I just needed to say the things….., he really liked it. And he actually said: wow…uhm…yeah, well maybe I also have to look back and we can have a longer chat about this later, because I do realize that the relationship with you has been very different and more difficult then the relation with your brother.

Last week, my mum send me an email. Saying that Carel really appreciated my phone call, that it means a lot to him and that it actually feels as if he has another daughter (he has one real daughter, Loes) now. That is HUGE.

Also that call I had a chance to speak to my mum and for the first time in my life could state the appreciation that I have for her, for the way she raised me and my brother, for who she is, tell her I love her.

Jep …and that all because of Landmark. Sharing, communicating, openness and honesty. And a new very important word for me: Integrity > being whole and complete. Each and every moment in life. Enjoying every second. Because? THIS IS IT. Stop chasing the carrot like a donkey. This is it, so better enjoy it. As Jord said before his dead: don’t wait for a cancer to start living.

I signed up for the advanced course the end of June. Jep, more to come…

interested? www.landmarkeducation.com (global institute…jep guys also in Amsterdam!) The words are not able to express the feelings you get out of it. Jep it is in your own experience and your own intention of what you want to get out of it…where you’ll get the most! Enjoy!

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